So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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