Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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