Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Knock knock. Who's there? Frank. Frank who? Cut the shit, I'm being chased by a tiger!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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