What do you call it when a cave man pisses himself running from a t-rex? Historically incorrect.

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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New mission: refuse this mission

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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