What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

What's white and gluey Glue

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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