im a dragon, no im not

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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My wife made me a sandwich

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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"Knock knock." "No."

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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My Nan, that is all.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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