Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

anti jokes are gay...your all gay

How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

Why did it die Nothing died

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

What do u call a banana? A banana......

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

You will NEVER guess what just happened!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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