What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

thumb_up thumb_down

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down

Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

thumb_up thumb_down

hi will

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

thumb_up thumb_down

please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

thumb_up thumb_down

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

thumb_up thumb_down

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

thumb_up thumb_down

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down

A Chinese man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down

Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops