Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

You just read this ..

What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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