- Anti Joke

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

What did the dog say to the house? Roof

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

So does Blake