A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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I agree

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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MC donald the duck loves Justin's Balls. And Daniel Ma loves fried chicken boiled with rice \Cupcake

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Whats black, white and dusty? A nuns fan-y because it never gets used

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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