Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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