What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

womens rights

Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

Penis-biter

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

You want to hear a joke? Republican

Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

Justin Beiber

split your ass cheek

What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

What is my name? I dont know

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

learn. advance!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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