What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Rebecca Black.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops