why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Women's Rights

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anti jokes are gay...your all gay

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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