Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Whats funnier than Steven Yuhasz being Straight? Womens Rights.

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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( . Y . )

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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