Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "What is this? A joke?" They then proceed to rape the barman.

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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