whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

What's funnier than 24? My life.

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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