Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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Why did it die Nothing died

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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