What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Why is it sad that a black guy died in a car crash He was my friend

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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were you expecting a joke

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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i have a christmas tree.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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