What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red grass is green get on th bed and I'll fill you wilpth my cream ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +15

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops