what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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A guy walks into the bar and orders a coke with some ice and some peanuts. It cost a total of $4.00 plus tax. He gave the bartender $5.00 and told him to keep the change. He drank the soda pop and burped loudly and left the bar and forgot his peanuts.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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