If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Winter

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Cows are land manatees.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops