Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

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if i get 1,000 likes ill kill your hole family

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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