Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops