who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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