What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

your social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Im black

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ugvvvvvv

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down -1

boobs!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops