If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What's the difference between a Chinese guy and a bucket of fried chicken? There are numerous differences.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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