How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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How old is your mom Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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