What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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