Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what's catchy? A cold

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

thumb_up thumb_down +1

spell backwards: taco cat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

CRY

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops