What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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Why was the boy laughing? Because

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Abbott! Abbott who? Abbott time you answered the door! The door was never answered because they did not know the person at the door.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

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how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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