why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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I once did something.

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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