A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's funny about war? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops