Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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