What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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im at school

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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A kid has no friends.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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A Cow Walk's Into A Bar And Say's Drink Please The Bartender Is Then Sent To A Mental Hospital For Talking To A Cow.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops