why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Hello.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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