what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

im at school

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops