What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Cripples are lame.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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