Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

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So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops