Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops