A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

thumb_up thumb_down -24

women's rights, lol

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

whats black and red all over? a chalk board

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

thumb_up thumb_down -26

This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops