What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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What did Dr. Pepper say to Sprite? I'm a Doctor.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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