how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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