How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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...............................................................hi

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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