How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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This is not a joke or is it

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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