I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Catholicism.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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9/11.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops