Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Derp

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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