Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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The Holocaust

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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A Chinese man fails a math test

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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taking out the trash... at night

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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A mans opinion.

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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