When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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What do you call said black man flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

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What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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What's the deal with brown?

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Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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a man walked into a bar....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops