Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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God. God.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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So does Blake

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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