knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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